Memory Lane

You hear it all the time, you already know it....and yet when you look back that's when you realize it!

Last night I was looking at home videos of you girls from born to now I think I spend about an hour reminiscing of the past.

Made me wanna have another baby like now! But I gotta be real with myself....right now is not the time.

I don't know why we do this to ourselves, we moms complain sometimes that our kids are too much at times, but yet we want more! I say we are masochists! :) However I think we think of the positives and the love we have for our kids that makes us want more :)

I always wanted a big family! Before having you girls it was 6 kids....after you girls that number went down to 4 and sometimes I think with just yous two is enough! :)

Either way your daddy and I want more....and we will God whiling!

Looking at your faces, and just seeing both of you girls grow in the last three two years I'm in awe of how time flies and then that's when I find myself realizing the famous statement that every parent of older kids say "cherish these moments because they don't last forever"

And although you girlies are still small, and I feel like I have enjoyed and cherish moments with you both....I feel that it is not enough!

I sure do miss those baby days....I guess that's why we want more babies to have those baby days again!

Oh the baby smell, the bonding while nursing, 2 naps in a day plus night time! more sleep for mommy! :)

Regardless the stage you girls are in I want to just bottle it up and never let it go....I guess that's why I record you both A LOT! Those are my cherish memories!


Memory lane.....

I love you girls!
Always and Forever
MOM!

Oh Oh nail polish!

I wasnt going to post about this, but looking back at the pictures I decided what'a hey!!!

When we look back at this years from now, it will only be a nice moment to remember....or so I hope!

Visiting your titi Arizaida after Christmas, she had a little gift for you girls.

Unexpectedly gift that your daddy....well did not want at all. Even me writing this he would not be too pleased.

She bought you girls your first nail polish....I have been wanting to paint your nails for the longest....mind you right now you girls are 3 and 2....regardless of that fact I still would like to paint them!

Well my sister thought it was nice to experience painting your nails and not include me in this little adventure!

Not cool of her! If you know me (and by now you should) you know that I loooove painting my nails. So imagine my surprise when I saw your nails painted and I wasn't the one painting it!!!!

I guess this is a girl thing, because guys just don't get it. You see your daddy does not want no nail polish on you girls nails AT ALL at least until your 30....jk....maybe not!
But at least until you girls get a little older and start asking for it....which you will cuz you see mines painted all the time.

So until the time comes when you girls ask mommy to paint your nails and I will be anxiously waiting for this mommy daughter bonding time.

Sincerely your anxious
Mommy! :)

Seylah and her ways

Seylah you are growing so fast, is like every month I hear you saying new little words here and there. And I'm always a surprised mamma, "like omg she said this or that".

The new things you are saying are as follows;

When we go outside you want to hold my hand, this is a surprise on its own because usually you want to walk on without me. But when you do wanna hold hands you say "hangers" and is so cute that I won't correct you just yet!

You love to sing and dance. Favorite song to sing is Happy Birthday and I do from Colbie Caillat. Oh and I've tried to record you singing Happy Birthday to catch the end, but you never do it when i record you. You finish the song and then you go "a blow" and you blow and then you say "a cake" and then you act like you're taking a bite out of the cake with sound and everything. It's too funny and cute! When you do sing you sshh me followed by a hand covering my mouth so I won't sing with you.

You are a SCREAMER! Oh Lord you are a screamer! Unfortunately I used to be one too.....still am sometimes, but I Am trying to change my ways :)

Now that we are potty training you when I ask you if you gotta go pipi you say "no I fine" LOL that was too cute the first time I heard it. Oh and by the way your doing pretty good, you have your days.

When I scold you, you say "sowy mami" in such a cute little voice that I just wanna grab you and hug you and say all is well! But I can't show this sign of weakness with you, because I know you'll take it for granted.

You are one crazy energetic beautiful little girl.....without you my world will be gray! But you do have tons of energy, you cannot stay still if your life depended on it! While Emma watches a movie, you go off doing your own thing. Whether that is playing with you baby, putting them to sleep or coloring, anything that doesn't have to do with sitting down and watching the movie.
And I do love this about you. I really don't like you girls watching lots of TV, so this is good for you.

Sometime you come over and sit on my lap and want me to read you a book. This I love, although you like to interrupt a lot, I still love it when you come and sit on my lap. I hope that one day you love reading like I do. I didn't like reading when young, but I picked it up in High School and in College and even more now! I love collecting books. Anyways enough about me!

When I'm hurt you say "u kay" and sometimes you kiss my boo, like I do yours.

You like to imitate Emma in a lot of things, but you are also your own person and you like to do your own thing sometimes....especially when Emma really wants you to so something with her. You can be independent when you want to be.

You are a very strong will child and you like to talk back to me A LOT! Is cute now, but not when you're older, so that's why I have to keep you on check now.

You also like to try to put bottoms on, but when you turn around both of your legs are in one hole!

You're catching up to Emma too! I just measured you on Valentines day and you're only 1/4 in shorter than Emma. When we are out and about I usually get "are they twins"......sometimes is annoying because I get it A LOT!

Well love this is what I can remember for now!
I love you always.....to the moon and back!

Always...
MOM

Valentine's Day Forever Special!

I wasnt going to write anything to you girls today, but I decided too anyways! 
You girls are too young now, but once you get a bit older maybe next year I'll be doing a little tradition that my mom use to do for us on valentines day.

It wasn't much, little chocolates or pencils a card, but it came from the heart and although we didn't see it that way growing up, we see it now as mothers ourselves.

My mom made Valentines for-ever special, because she thought of us. I can sit here and argue that I had the best mom in the world, others may think their mom was the best, but to each its own right. I only hope that one day I can be as influential, loving, caring, forgiving, and above all a great example of a mother, wife and Godly women to you girls!

So to you my girls I say Happy Valentines Day!

LOVE MOM

A little bit about LOVE!

Attempt #3 Day one of Potty Training!

Yes it has been tough potty training you Seylah!
Last night your daddy and I decided that enough is enough and I will start potty training you, because diapers are too expensive especially how much you use them!

This morning you had your potty training panties on and out they went, you went on them shortly after that. It was all butt cheeks with a shirt....of course you're not gonna learn in a day (i wish) but the shirt had to go too. So commando it was! And you were just fine playing naked, I guess it felt liberating for you LOL!

That's when things got better!
And overall it was a good day for you Seylah! A few expected mistakes here and there, but you did great. I was even scared of leaving the house, but I had to take sinatra out, he has his needs too. So I put your potty training panties, the plastic pantie, and your shorts and before we left you went potty on the toilet!

It was such a beautiful day and daddy was working from home today and I know he likes it when we leave so is nice and quiet, so we went outside and you girls played with the chalks, while mommy read "Chicken soup for the Mother's soul" accompanied by a nice cup of hot tea!
And through it all you didn't pipi on yourself.....I was a very happy mama!

So on to Day 2 of potty training!
Wish me Luck :)

Love always your mama!

A year in the life of my girls!

I wanted to do this on New Years day, but you know how time just slips out of your hands sometimes!
2013 has gone so fast it's crazy how the months and days can just go fast and here we are now a new year another January and resolutions are being made.

2013 broughts lots of new things like moving to a new state, and lots of challenges by you girls :) I'm sure 2014 won't be an exception for that. You girls challenge me each and every single day! That's the life of a mother :) but very rewarding.

This year there will be lots of changes for example in our diet...I say our this means the whole family because you girls well Emma more than Seylah, Emma you're very picky, so we'll see how we can change that. Another is this year I'm gonna start something to contribute to our finances. So far that's it, so 2014 here we come!

But for today let's take a little (it's actually pretty long) look at how fast you girls have grown in 2013!

My Movie 2013 from Arisai Santiago on Vimeo.

Birthday Time!

Getting closer to the BIG 3-0 is not fun! Getting more wrinkles around the eyes....seeing more white hair....and just not feeling the same anymore.....This is not cool at all! Being the youngest of five, feeling and being older is not as much fun as it used to be!

You know when you were a kid the day before your birthday you couldn't wait, for the birthday gift, the celebration, your friends and family coming over! And now you can't wait till it's over! LOL (the getting older that is)

Never the less I had a great time with my familia!
Although it had been a hectic week with the drive back from Chicago and having my sister over and then my brother over, I wanted to drive down and spend the weekend with all my family over in Tampa.
It has been years since I've spent my birthday with mys siblings. Needless to say it was one of the best! Spending time with my sisters laughing and reminiscing its always good times!

A frustrated mamma!

It has been a little while since I've written and even a little longer since I have talked about you girls and how much you have grown. 
There is so much that I want to say but it's so much that I can't remember all I know is all in the noggin, so let's see what I can remember and what I will write about today!

Well first of all let me just say this, I write to you girls about things you do and say, but usually all the goody stuff, the cute stuff the funny things, hardly ever the bad and even those I laugh at...I've gotten better, a lot better about not laughing in your face because I really want you girls to get what I'm saying and to know that I am serious.

I'm gonna be truthful and I know I'm not the only mom out there feeling this way. 

Ever since we moved and we were back to being a family in our own space, I have been feeling like an inadequate mother, and I felt like I wasn't doing my job as a mom. You girls are tough let me tell you, and you both especially Seylah push my buttons....A LOT! At times...many times I have felt like I was going crazy, resulting in your daddy being tough with you girls, because I couldn't handle it. You girls just don't listening, and even now is tough but I feel I'm getting the groove of it again. Never the less feeling like I'm gonna lose it and just leave for a bit crosses my mind from time to time. Sometimes letting out my frustration results in tears running down my face, and on my knees or kitchen sink asking for God to give me strength and patience. And then you both do something that just melts my heart my anger away, and I believe that, that is God helping me through it. At times I don't come to the Father and your daddy comes home from work and needs to step in and I just want to run out of the house!But that is where I have been lately emotionally! 

Regardless of what you girls do, it will never stop me from loving you both! Our (mothers) love is kinda like our Father in Heaven, is so immense is what the bible likes to call "agape love". Agape love is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible. Jesus lived an agape life, by sacrificing himself for our sins and the sins of this world. And I want to believe that the love that a mother has for their children comes close to that. Unfortunately not all mothers feel that way, but this mommy does for you girls!

Okay so what do you girls do so bad that it has me in tears sometimes? 
Well lets name a few things, because knowing me I forget a lot of things. For you girls that can be a good thing! For me....not so much lol.

For starters I have to record this day because it was the first day in a loooooooooong time that going to sleep at night was not a surprise! Because is a battle mainly for Seylah than Emma to go to sleep when I tell you. Cleaning time, bath time, brush time, story time, pray time and then bed! So simple you should both get this by now because is our routine when we are home. But no it's a stinking battle and I have to scold Seylah most of the time and Emma just a little. 

The battles are mainly with you Seylah! Is like you have a selective hearing when it comes to my voice, because I have to tell you over and over and over and over again things. And it just gets annoying and frustrating and thats when the belt comes. Mind you I don't hit you hard cuz you're still little but I've had to come to this, because you wont listen and even with the belt you don't listen after the 3 or 4th time. 
I've tried reasoning with you....but your 2 it doesn't get that far lol. On the other hand I can reason with Emma and tell you why you should or shouldn't do things. And for the most part you say "ok mami". 

You girls are so very different from each other, sometimes and is a challenge....well all the time! But a challenge I would not trade for nothing in this world. I'm learning little by little how to discipline and to teach you girls good manners. And to stay firm when I scold you for something and keep scolding you for the same thing. Believe me it's hard because sometimes I'm too tired or too busy, but I have to do it for your sake. The last thing I want is to raise girls who are ungrateful, destructive and spoiled. 

After all our (mothers) ministry is our home and in that it means I gotta teach you girls how to become little women better than that, Godly women. With God's help and strength that is what I strive for and hope, that someday you will become Godly examples for your little girls. 

And with this I leave you girls with a prayer I came across that says everything I really want to pray for, for you girls! I cannot take credit for it but you can check it out here.

Heavenly Father,

Please envelop Emma and Seylah in your Love. Show me minute-by-minute how to be an example of that Love, so that they may see its Source and give it freely to everyone they meet.

Please let them see the ocean of Grace that they swim in. May it endlessly drip from me to them to everyone they meet.

Please give them a heart for those of this world, while helping them find identity, comfort, strength and peace in You.

May their view of themselves and others never be limited to what’s on the outside. Give them eyes to see souls.

Lord, let them see the problems of this world, but not be bogged down by them. Give them patience, wisdom and motivation to search for, and take part in, Your solutions.

May they not just say “please” and “thank you.” May they know they are entitled to nothing and therefore feel grateful for everything.

Please help Jay and me to be an example of Love and covenant that might inform them always.

Help them to learn from the past, to plan for the future, but mostly, to be porous to the moment.

Please maintain this spirit of curiosity that thrives in them today. May everything they discover with it reveal more of You to them.

May they create. May their creations always delight, glorify and honor You!

May they find joy in running, jumping and playing, but also know how to abide in stillness.

I pray for their friends. May they be many, but not so many as to inhibit depth, intimacy and connection. May they be instruments of Love and Grace to each other.

Help me and their other chauffeurs to model, teach and practice safe driving so that they might be the safest driver ever, and I might sleep at night when that time comes.

I pray for their future husband. May he know, with every fiber of his being, what Love and covenant are.

You know the sound of their deep, belly laugh, Lord? May they have reason to intoxicate those around them with the sound of it at least once every day!

Please be in our relationship. May we daily cherish the beauty and blessing that is mother-daughter relationship. (May that mean that they call me often when they don't live under my roof!)

Please give them enough tomorrows to allow for their hair to turn white as snow, their face to get as wrinkly as their feet get after a day of fun in the pool, and their iPad100′s memory to be maxed out with pictures of their kids, grandkids, great grandkids and even a few great, great grandkids.

In your Holy and Mighty name I pray

Amen!

This was before Christmas you opened your gift while I was in bed! But I couldn't get mad the smile on your face was priceless.

Instead of saying "abracadabra" you said "trick a potato" That was so cute I had to record it!

I text this picture to my cousin so he can come over before leaving to Chicago....unfortunately it didn't work!

On our way to Publix! You girls love to go to get free cookies.

 

Oh this day you girls got punished for not listening!

I took a picture first of you girls walking and then you looked back and said "cheese" I have you girls trained already :)

I looove this pic of you!

This day you woke up said "good morning mami with a smile and grabbed your scooter to watch tv"

Just stopping by to smell the flowers!

My little fashionistas!

Seylah this is one of the things you do when your mad!

I love when you girls are like this!

A Christmas to Remember!

The anticipation, the warm feelings, family gathering, making memories, hot chocolate with buttery crackers, and the most important thing of all is the celebration of Jesus birth. We spend days weeks putting up Christmas decorations and is all done in one day! Christmas comes and goes so fast....I wish it can linger a bit longer.

This road trip we took I think is one of our last one to Chicago (maybe not) I don't know its probably just me talking to soon since it was just yesterday we got home from a cold and long trip. It was so nice to be able to spend time with the family, I missed them so much, but your daddy I know missed them more. 

Even though Christmas Eve and Christmas day was not a usual Christmas in the Santiago family, we were still able to enjoy a little of each others company. For most on Christmas day the company we held was the pillow and the bed. We all were sick to our stomach vomiting here and there, buckets in every room! Luckily you girlies missed this crazy bug going around (Thank God) You spend it with Orlando and Beth.

I was able to see your faces when the gifts where being opened, and Emma you were so grateful for every gift that was given to you, as a mom you don't know the joy it is to see that, Seylah you still can't fully comprehend whats going on, all I know is that you just wanted the baby doll that your uncle and titi Tiana gave you, and Emma wanted to take it away....she accomplished that a few times there was lots of yelling and crying going around. I just didn't have the strength to fight with you girls.

It was such a cold cold week, all I wanted was to go back to the warm weather! It was bittersweet, leaving the family missing them and my big nana (Beth) but glad to be back home in my own space and warmth of the sun! 

So hear are some highlights of the week in Pingree Grove, before everyone got sick, during and after!